Socializing as a Couple

In transitioning from the single world to the couple's world, you'll notice plenty of changes in how you socialize. 

As a single person, you developed a strong sense of independence. You socialized at times that were convenient for you. You could be as spontaneous as you wanted about when, where and with whom you socialized. 

However, once you're half of a couple, it's necessary to communicate before you go out. After all, two people's needs must be considered. And what about the act of socializing once you get there? Do you behave as an individual or encourage your partner to join the conversation?

These guidelines will answer your questions and help you navigate the world of socializing as a couple:

1. Choosing who you socialize with is now a joint decision. Being considerate of your partner's wishes when you make plans is integral to a healthy, happy relationship. You might love your friend, Sue, and her husband, Daveü but your partner may not prefer to see them every Friday night. 

* Once you're a part of a couple, decide together the activities you want to do.

2. Plans for socializing may require discussion and advance planning. The two of you will probably find it necessary to plan for when you want to go out. You've now likely got two work schedules to consider as well as two individuals' wants and needs.

3. Learn to converse together with others. You may have always been able to hold your own in conversations with others. Even so, now that you're a part of a couple, it's wise to listen more and ensure your partner is included in the conversation. 

4. Keep close contact with your partner during social events with your friends. Because your partner may just be getting to know your friends, help him be as comfortable as possible in their presence. 

5. Be considerate of your partner's feelings. When you're out socializing, your partner might not be enjoying the activity as much as you do. Therefore, "check in" with him as to whether he's feeling comfortable and is okay with staying out longer. 

* Remind yourself that being a part of a couple means you take into account your partner's feelings.

6. Agree to allow each other to choose. Your partner might not want to go to 4 of your friends' summer weddings this year, even though you do. 

* Make a pact with your partner, agreeing that you each have the choice whether to go to events the other person wants to attend. Also, agree that you'll honestly state your wishes to your partner when it's important to you that they attend.

* This way, you'll both have options about attending events you're not interested in and you'll know when your partner really wants you to go. 

Socializing as a couple is different than doing so as an individual. Taking care of both of your needs is crucial to the life and health of the relationship. You each have a right to be heard and to offer ideas about social activities to attend. Put the above suggestions into practice and the two of you will be successful at socializing as a couple in no time.